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Autumn: Season of Dissolution and Dark Mirrors


I feel moved to share something I’ve been mulling over   regarding the whole Autumnal seasonal association with loss, death, or finality. I have always tended to feel dread in the fall.

The animal body shrinking from the colder and darker days, perhaps.

On a deeper level, though, I was totally buyimg into the idea that Fall means colder, and darker feelings. I was interpreting the falling of leaves, acorns and pine cones as not just the death of summer, but death in general. My own impending….DOOOOM. Am I the only one who feels it?

But lately I’ve been reminded of another way of seeing the bare trees and grey skies. I don’t think I’m grasping for a happy ending, here. If anything, I’ve discovered NO ENDING>>>>>

The things that fall from trees aren’t dead. In fact, they’re babies. Seeds. New trees are being conceived as the seeds hit the soft earth.

Dark skies are Nature’s cloud quilts shielding the soil so it can rest and replenish itself.

Fall swaddles the baby earth in the womb. The darker, shorter days give birth to quieter, deeper things.

  • We shiver as we rush against the wind to our doorstep, to find our warm home, our families, our deeper selves.
  • We rest, dream, give birth to new ways, nurture the creative ideas that will be put into action during warmer, brighter, more extroverted months.
  • We plan vacations, set goals.
  • Review our recent mistakes and visualize ourselves doing better next time.

I used to think the cycle of life was: birth – death – rebirth….

But now the lifecycle looks like:

  • a swirling 3-D whole
  • with layers rather than a line merely that begins, peaks, then ends.

We don’t mean to draw lines that slice
whole things into their parts
and call this separation and loss “a Tragedy.”

Life: less like a sprint
to a finish line and more like a squat, jump – arms and legs spread at a height –
& landing again in a bouncy squat.
Autumn is Destiny softening into the earth.

Then inside the dark earth

a *pop.

A quiet mini explosion up and out.

This is happening somewhere, right now, always.

When I see only darkness in a grey sky, my own darkness is being mirrored back at me.

What to do when feeling dark? Pop some Vitamin K, dance like a wild thing, eat a warm grapefruit, laugh from the root of the belly, take a warm bath. Surprise a Grandma, chase a kid.

Cuddle up in a blanket and think about what you really, really want.

Now dream up a colorful way to make it happen.