I heard something recently that has really stuck with me.
The human feeling most analogous to the feeling a seed has when it opens is a scream.
Think of how you feel when you scream. Now imagine what it would be like to realize your whole body was about to crack open and that your insides were going to come out.
I don’t know about you, but I’d be thinking that I was about to explode. And, yes, I probably would scream.
We all know that everything comes out fine for the seed in the end. But just imagine not knowing what was going on.
Your body breaking open and then your insides unfurling like tendrils reaching out and grabbing things entirely outside your body.
Like sci fi horror basically.
Now we know where Hollywood got that. Seeds.
But what does the feeling of seeds have to do with us, really?
A lot, I’m thinking.
For one thing, growth is scary. It takes you to your edge and then beyond into the unknown. You change in ways you don’t have entire control over.
Also, right at the moment you’re about to break open (the moment when your old boundaries explode and you’re catapulted into vulnerability) you think you might die. “Surely this is it!” Because that seed hull or husk body had previously been all you knew.
So, during all growth phases, there are dying off phases. We change so much we’re like new.
Not every seed makes it. Not every person makes it. This is a risk that none of us chose to take. Universe dealt us these cards without asking permission.
We can choose not to grow, but that’s just another kind of death.
I like it. This is why life feels so intense. Mysterious magic that we didn’t choose to have is pulsating through us all the time and often transforms us in ways we would never ask for.