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A Rebel’s Road To Meditation



[mks_separator style=”blank” height=”6″]When you picture “Meditation”….
what sort of image pops into your head?

As a rebel and activist, I had never considered meditation. That was hippie shit.  Something people did in ashrams dressed in white.

I was a questioner, an activist, ass-kicker and a heavy metal lover.

“Meditation? who the hell had time for that? “

I was busy trying change the world.

I didn’t know anyone who meditated.  My free time was mostly spent in tattoo shops and at gigs. Not really the typical meditation crowd.

I had been going to yoga classes but Yoga was purely physical to me.  It just made me feel good. I was clueless about the more mindful, inner aspects of Yoga.

I was introduced to meditation in Yoga Teacher Training. I naively thought that meditation would be easy.  I’d just sit cross legged, put my fingers in some fancy-ass mudra and BAM! Enlightenment, right?

Reality check! I couldn’t sit still, my mind was all over the place. My back hurt.

I was shocked! Fuck, this was hard. Clearly meditation wasn’t for me. Nope, I was way too intense for that shit.

Yet, “learn to meditate” kept repeating in the back of my mind. I wasn’t the type to give up easily (I was hard core, after all).

Finally, after years of secretly reading Buddhist books, I came out of the Buddhist closet, so to speak.

The Buddha was a Rebel, no doubt.

He totally went “against the stream” of the current spiritual practices of his time in India. So I had massive respect for the Buddha.

He recommended The Three Jewels:

  • Buddha (“Enlightenment” in Sanskrit)
  • Dharma (“Teachings” in sanskrit)
  • Sangha (“Community” in Sanskrit)

Sangha. As a lone wolf, I had zero interest in joining a Sangha.

But, I had a lot of questions and really needed a teacher to help me with my practice. So, I reluctantly went  in search of Sangha. Eventually, I found teacher that could answer all my questions (I had a lot).

Unfortunately, meditation was part of the deal when joining a Sangha.

So I learned to meditate. In my first class my teacher said “Everybody thinks during meditation. Thinking is part of the human experience”.

What? I was “normal”?

(That was a first). So I could cut myself some slack when my mind was all over the place?[mks_separator style=”blank” height=”8″]

nyk BPart of me was worried that all this meditation would soften me up too much, that I would lose my edge. Can someone meditate, listen to heavy music and get covered in ink? Yup, turns out you can.

So now I “sit” ALMOST everyday (I am a rebel after all).  It’s made a massive difference in my life. A difference I am truly grateful for.


 This post is the first of a memoir series by Nyk Danu. Read more:
Also by Nyk Danu:  Guided Contemplation, Unity Consciousness (video)