(Clearing throat) What I’m currently going through.
Taking myself back. Still.
Despite the urge to spread myself out smoothly, in all my expansive wonder, I’m currently gathering myself back into the jar I come from. Still. Again and again.
I started this re-gathering of self months ago. (See previous post “Gather: My Word for 2017″. )
I spent the end-of-the-year-holidays pulling up my personal stakes from various and sundry farther flung campsites in lesser known territories and returning me and my gear to my personal basecamp.
So, here’s my current thing.
The self reclaiming process is still unfolding in new iterations. Almost every day.
Each time I begin to spread out again, I find myself doing it in a way that doesn’t totally light me up– which means I’m spreading on someone else’s terms. So, I stop spreading and hone back into center.
NOTE: I’ve kept every appointment, thoroughly rocked and enjoyed every scheduled event.
And I’ve been there for my world as well. A world that is currently so loud that on many days I can barely hear my own inner voice. But this is NOT about HIDING FROM A WORLD THAT NEEDS ME.
Only now, I’m extra protective of my voice. Even though the outside world might want to hear my voice as well.
I’m listening to her more often and for longer durations. When she says things that make no sense to me (even though she IS me) I don’t interrupt, I just keep listening, loving the strangeness.
I’m almost obsessed with her.
I’ve actually said to her, “I’m stalking you, in a good way.”
It’s already mid-February. Almost every day I rise and look out towards my horizon. I open my ears to distant parts of myself who might be calling ahead as they travel home.
When the world calls, and I leave home for errands and appointments, I make sure to tuck a doorkey under my welcome mat.
Do I feel impatient? Or get cabin fever?
Hell yes to both.
But for now I’m reclaiming personal gifts that have been on loan to others for too, too long.
To my next round of houseguests– those I’ve known forever, those who will arrive to the party as complete strangers….
I want all of me to hug all of you.
And I want to be clutter-free. So, I’m cleaning house in preparation for the party. Clearing space for the colors, the communication, the collaborations.
I think I see signs that I’m almost ready to outstretch my arms.
To gather my old and new tribe. For our familiar and fresh experiences.
((( My first 2017 private event, with the word “Gather” in the title, will be announced in a few days.
Curious? Stay close. )))